THE CUSSPUCK • FIRST TEST RUN Full price $19.95  ·  Reserve for $5 →
Handheld censor button

Censor yourself.
In real life.

The CussPuck is a palm-sized puck you hold over your mouth. Press the red side button — a stopwatch-style plunger on the edge of the puck — and it fires a classic 1 kHz TV censor tone while the BLEEP! starburst lights up — solid black one second, glowing the next.

Reserve yours — $5 deposit Try the bleep ↓
$5 is fully refundable Counts toward $19.95 Standard 9V battery included
Hand holding the round black CussPuck up to the mouth, BLEEP! starburst glowing on its black face, with only the red stopwatch-style plunger visible — sticking out of the side rim at about 1 to 2 o'clock; the recessed volume thumbwheel is set flush into the opposite rim and isn't visible from the front
Yours for$19.95$5 down today
Photorealistic studio view of the round black CussPuck puck on a cream backdrop — thick matte black body with a beveled rim, seam line and visible side wall, the BLEEP! starburst printed on its black face, and only the red knurled stopwatch-style plunger sticking out of the side rim at about 1 to 2 o'clock

Go ahead. Hold the button.

This is the whole product. One button, one tone, one glowing starburst. Press and hold the BLEEP! face — or hold the red side crown on the puck itself — at the volume you set.

Ready when you are.

On the real device the two controls feel completely different. The bleep button is a stopwatch-style crown — a knurled red plunger that sticks out of the side of the puck, right where your thumb lands. The volume is the opposite kind of control: a recessed thumbwheel — an embedded, flush thumbwheel potentiometer — set into a slot in the rim, sitting flush to slightly indented, so only a sliver of knurled wheel shows for your fingertip to roll. Nothing protrudes, nothing snags. Flip the puck like a page to switch hands; both faces are printed, so it always reads upright.

How it works

No app. No pairing. No menu. If you can press one button, you already know how to use it.

01

Hold it to your mouth

Back of your hand toward your mouth, the red side button under your thumb on the edge of the puck — a stopwatch-style crown at the chin-side rim. It fits in one palm — about 3¼ inches across.

02

Press mid-sentence

The moment a word needs censoring, press the crown in — like starting a stopwatch. The 1 kHz tone plays for exactly as long as you hold it — short bleep or long rant, your call.

03

The starburst fires

Only the BLEEP! burst lights up. Everything around it stays opaque black, so the gag lands visually too — across a room, on camera, in a Reel.

Black-faced CussPuck standing on a wooden desk next to a coffee mug, only the BLEEP! starburst glowing, with only the red stopwatch-style plunger visible — sticking out of the side rim at about 1 to 2 o'clock, and the recessed thumbwheel slot glimpsed flush in the far rim
Lives where the swearing happensSolid black on the desk — until the starburst fires. The red button stands proud of the side rim like a stopwatch crown; the volume thumbwheel sits recessed and flush in its slot across the rim. Same on both faces, so it works in either hand. And yes — the red button in the photo works: hold it to bleep.

The details

Small, simple, and finished like a real gift — not a novelty that dies in a drawer.

SizePalm-sized puck

Round, 3 to 3¼ inches across. Big enough to read across a room, small enough to live in a pocket or desk drawer.

ControlsStopwatch button + switch wheel

The bleep button is a single 12 mm red momentary plunger on the side of the puck — a stopwatch-style crown that sticks out of the rim where your thumb falls. Volume is a recessed thumbwheel in the rim at 10–11 o'clock, mounted parallel to the faces and sitting flush, so just a fingertip sliver of knurl shows. It's also the power switch: roll it all the way down and it clicks off — master power off — then roll it up to switch on and set the volume. The wheel controls loudness only — the BLEEP! starburst always lights at full brightness, however low the volume is set. Nothing else to learn.

FaceBlack until it isn't

Opaque black on both sides. Off, it's a plain black disc. On, only the red-and-yellow BLEEP! starburst glows — no halo, no wash.

SoundThe real censor tone

A clean ~1 kHz tone, the same pitch TV has used for decades. Instantly recognised by anyone who's ever watched a blooper reel.

BatteryStandard 9V, included

Runs on a standard 9V battery — one comes in the box, and it's user-replaceable. When it runs down, pop the old one out and click a fresh one in. No charging, no cables.

Both handsFlip it like a page

Printed on both faces with the side crown and recessed thumbwheel mirrored rim-to-rim, so it switches hands — thumb to thumb — and always stays upright.

Made to be given

It's a gag gift that actually gets used — at the table, at work, and every time someone starts a sentence they shouldn't finish.

White elephantBirthday gag giftOffice desk toyStreamers & creatorsFamily dinnersGame nightStocking stufferAnyone who swears creatively

First run is tiny.
Get in line for $5.

The first test run is fewer than 25 units, built to prove the production process and the gadget itself. A refundable $5 deposit holds your place and counts toward the full price — it's the strongest signal that this should go bigger.

  • $5 now, $14.95 + shipping when yours ships
  • Fully refundable any time before yours ships
  • Deposit holders get first dibs on the first run
  • Checkout runs through Stripe once the payment link is connected

Deposit checkout isn't live yet — the Stripe payment link is coming soon.

CussPuck — full price$19.95
Due today (deposit)$5.00
Due at shipping$14.95 + shipping

Once the link is connected, payment runs on Stripe's secure checkout page — no card details ever touch this page.

Fair questions

Is the $5 deposit really refundable?

Yes. It's a place-holder, not a purchase. Ask for it back any time before your unit ships and it comes back in full. If the first run doesn't go ahead, every deposit is refunded.

When do I pay the rest?

The remaining $14.95 is only due when your CussPuck is ready to ship — and shipping is charged at that same time, along with the $14.95 balance. So it's $5 today, then $14.95 + shipping when it ships. The $5 you put down comes off the $19.95 full price.

When will it ship?

This is a first test run of fewer than 25 units, built and checked by hand. Deposit holders are at the front of that run and hear first as soon as units are ready — no fixed ship date is promised until the run is confirmed.

How loud is it?

Loud enough to land the joke across a room, adjustable with the recessed thumbwheel set flush into the rim at 10–11 o'clock, parallel to the faces — roll the exposed sliver with a fingertip, from a polite office bleep to full TV-censor volume. The wheel doubles as the on/off switch: roll it all the way down and it clicks off, master power fully off, so the CussPuck can't bleep in a pocket or bag; roll it up to switch on and set the volume. The wheel changes only the loudness — the BLEEP! starburst light stays at full brightness at any volume setting, so turning the volume down never dims the light.

What battery does it take?

A standard 9V battery — one is included, and it's user-replaceable: when it runs down, swap in a fresh one. Nothing to charge, no ports, no cables to keep track of.